


Fix You

by LacyPearl



Series: And I will try to fix you [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2017-11-29 08:56:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/685155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LacyPearl/pseuds/LacyPearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson is dating Alex Pettyfer. They have been together for six years, and at the beginning of their relationship, they were happy. But, as the years grew, Alex began abusing Louis. Louis can't leave him because he's afraid Alex won't let him leave. Harry shows up in his life and everything that Louis has known has changed.</p><p>Louis is in desperate need of being saved and fixed.</p><p>Can Harry save him before it's too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: "When you love someone, but it goes to waste."

**Author's Note:**

> This story is considered a "song-fic." There are songs in the story. I do not own them or the characters. I only own the plot-line.

_I can’t go any further than this..._

There comes a time in every person’s life where you sit and reevaluate everything you have done up to this moment. Then, a moment of panic sinks in and then depression. For Louis Tomlinson, this was becoming more and more. 

Louis was a happy, healthy, handsome man. He was well liked by all, and had a personality that made anyone around him feel at ease. Louis loved to sing, but he knew that would never get him anywhere in life. But, music? Music was Louis’s life. Every time he touched his piano keys, the music would soothe his soul; his now frequently wounded soul.

Louis loved Alex. Or so he thought. But no one ever said being in love was going to be this difficult. Alex was his first: for everything. And Alex knew this. Alex tended to abuse this...and Louis. Louis learned early on that Alex has jealousy issues.

They met at the bar that Louis worked at. _Whiskey Kiss_ was a bar at the ass end of London and was a place for all the hipsters, the wankers, the sexually frustrated and the lost to get away from it all. Louis fit in perfectly. So did Alex, at one time. Louis was hired immediately for tending the bar. His charming personality, his brilliant smile, and his never ending chattering won him over with the many that came to drink their worries away. 

That’s when Alex had come in. Three years ago, a fresh university graduate, partying for the fact his long days of studying were officially over. Alex had graduated at the top of his class, a business major tackling the London real estate was his life goal. He had procured a job with the London elite class and was well on his way. 

His classmates had dragged him down to Whiskey Kiss, against his will. Alex would never have been caught dead in this part of town. But the bar was fresh and amazing, and provided an atmosphere that Alex enjoyed. Plus, after making eye contact and general small talk with the gorgeous male bartender, Alex was currently getting shitfaced. Louis would wink and flash his crooked smile, and Alex would turn to goo. Literally. _Goo_. 

After Alex’s fifth Rum and Coke, Louis started to just give him coke. Alex would laugh and lean over the counter to grab the bottle of rum. Louis would playfully smack him and Alex took that as his cue to continue on. By his seventh “coke,” instead of trying to grab the bottle of rum, he leaned over the bar and playfully grabbed Louis’ wrist. Louis tried to remove his grasp around his wrist, but Alex would just squeeze tighter. Louis laughed it off, when in actuality, it quite hurt. Alex released his grip and made eye contact and licked his lip. From there, Louis was forever Alex’s. Forever.

Alex had skyrocketed in London real estate. He quickly made his first million. Then another million. Then another. 

Alex was Louis’ Prince Charming. He took Louis from the London underground and moved him into the high class of Primrose Hill. 

Their first big fight came after the move to Primrose Hill. Louis refused to quit his job at Whiskey Kiss. The bar was his life. He had great friends there. Plus every Thursday was open mic night; Louis’ chance to shine. To have his moment in the spotlight. He lived for Thursday nights. 

After Louis’ abrupt refusal to quit the bar, Alex had hit him. Not the playful hits Louis had grown accustomed to. But an actual backhand to his face. Louis was stunned and embarrassed. Never in his life had he been slapped. Never had he been so completely humiliated. He grabbed the side of his face and wiped his angry tears, grabbed his messenger bag and walked out of the flat. Alex was horrified with his actions with Louis; but he was also in control and Louis needed to understand that. Alex ran after Louis, finding him waiting for the elevator. Louis was red faced and hurt. Alex dropped to his knees, and begged Louis for forgiveness. Those cool grey eyes begging for forgiveness broke Louis’ heart and he quickly forgave Alex. 

But that was just the first time. There were many more times after that. Louis was never allowed to play his piano when Alex was home. His grand piano was stowed away in the basement and when Alex left for work every morning, Louis immediately went down there and spent hours on his piano. One day, Alex had come home early and caught Louis playing. 

“I thought I told you I didn’t want to hear that damned thing anymore!” Alex backhanded Louis across the face, producing a yelp from him. Louis held his cheek and looked up at his boyfriend, tearing up.

“You were at work! I didn’t know you were coming home early!” Alex hated it when Louis raised his voice to him. It only made him angrier. Alex gripped a handful of Louis’ hair and pulled him to his feet. 

“Don’t you _**dare**_ yell at me! I’m in control around here! I’m the boss! What I say, goes!” Louis was tired of fighting with his boyfriend. He always felt empty and broken afterward. What other choice did he have, though? He couldn’t leave Alex. For three years, that’s all he’s known. He was used to it, but then again, he wasn’t. He would never get used to the fact that Alex was very easily-angered. Louis always feared of saying the wrong thing to Alex. 

As time and years went by, Alex would hit Louis and Louis would forgive him. That’s how their relationship was. That’s how it was going to be, for as long as Louis’ body allowed it. But, Louis was afraid that his body wouldn’t hold out for much more. He was getting weaker as the days went by.


	2. Chapter One: "When you're too in love to let it go..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an account on onedirectionfanfiction.com, and this story is posted there as well.

_When you try your best, but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep. Stuck in reverse…_

 

Louis woke with a slap to the face, literally. His hand automatically came to shield his face, almost as if it was second nature. To him, though, it was.

“Wake the fuck up and make my breakfast!” Louis heard the stomps of his boyfriend fade away as he threw the duvet back and opened his eyes. He rubbed his cheek, knowing he’ll need concealer to cover the mark up.

He loved his boyfriend, and for reasons God only knew. He knew he should hate him a little more each time a new mark was made. Louis wasn’t a hateful person, though. Maybe that’s why his boyfriend kept doing what he did. Because no matter how hard or how many times he hit Louis, he would never leave.

 

One of the few times Louis was truly happy anymore was when Alex went to work and Louis could play the piano. Louis cherished those few hours he was by himself.

Louis walked to the basement and flipped the light switch, immediately going to uncover his most prized possession. It took Louis years to pay for this and Alex was not going to dispose of it. That was the one rule Louis had that Alex seemed to obey.

“Hello, baby. Daddy’s missed you.” Louis smiled, gliding his fingers along the precious keys. Louis took his place on the piano stool and put some blank pages of sheet music up. Louis composed all of the songs he played. Some were good, and some were not. A thought struck Louis’ mind, and he started to play, stopping every few notes to write them down.

 

“‘ _Skies are crying, I am watching, catching teardrops in my hands. Only silence as it’s ending, like we never had a chance. Do you have to make me feel like there’s nothing left of me? You can_ —’”

 

“What the hell kind of bullshit is that?” Louis jumped, hearing Alex’s booming voice from behind him.

“N-Nothing. I was just messing around.” Alex walked over and grabbed him by the hair.

“Get upstairs. I only have an hour for lunch and I’m horny.” That was one of the things Louis disliked about Alex. If Louis didn’t let Alex “have his way with him” then that would earn Louis not only a hit to the face, but also the roughest “pounding” he has ever encountered. So, Louis obliged. Always.

Louis bit back a sigh as he made his way to the bedroom. He didn’t know why, but Alex didn’t like seeing Louis’ face while they were having intercourse. Alex did, at first. When their relationship first began, Alex seemed to love holding Louis in his arms. Those are the moments Louis thinks about while Alex “takes care of business.”

Louis stripped himself bare and took his place on the bed. He knelt on the mattress, and leaned down on his arms, his bare bum in the air. He grabbed a pillow and buried his face in the soft object. He felt the bed weigh down more as Alex kneeled behind him. He heard the condom wrapper being ripped open and the bottle of lubricant being uncapped.

“Mm, yeah… That’s it.” Alex pushed himself into Louis as far as his body would allow. He gripped Louis’ shoulders and without so much as a warning, began a fast-paced rhythm. Louis squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Alex’s long, thick cock plunge into his innermost depths, gasping as Alex’s bony hips smacked into his cheeks, over and over again.

Louis lost track of time as Alex continued, never once letting up to catch his breath. As Alex neared his climax, the headboard began slamming against the wall as Alex gained more speed. With a final and rather **hard** thrust, Alex let out a low groan which could only mean that he had hit his orgasm.

“Maybe next time I’ll make you ride me.” Alex took his condom off and held it over Louis’ back, letting the sticky substance drip onto him. And with that, Alex got off the bed, put his clothes on, and left.

 

~*~

 

“Hey, Lou! Let me get a Miami Ice!” Louis walked over to his regular Irishman and flashed a smile as he got a glass out.

“Changing drinks, are we?” Niall shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

“Decided I would try something new.” Louis started mixing his drink together and chuckled.

“Niall, you do realize there are about five different kinds of alcohol in this, right?”

“What are they?”

“Vodka, rum, gin, triple sec, and peach schnapps.” 

“Hmm. Sounds good to me! Hit me!” Louis handed Niall his drink, taking the five he slapped on the bar moments prior. Louis watched as Niall took a big gulp.

“So… How is it?” Niall smacked his lips and let out a belch.

“Tastes excellent. Damn, Lou. You’re the best God damn bartender in London.” Louis laughed at this and resumed his job. Louis loved Whiskey Kiss. To be able to meet some of funniest lads and sing was enough for him. Of course, Alex didn’t approve. But, Louis didn’t care.

 

“Okay, ladies and gents! Tonight is our weekly open-mic night and first up, Sarah Beth!” Louis continued making drinks for regulars and newcomers, all the while listening to the drones of the people who claimed they had a good voice. Liam, the owner, insisted that Louis be the last to sing because he was the only one who seemed to have any talent. Liam’s words, not Louis’.

Time seemed to pass by slowly for Louis. But, in his case, that could be considered a good and bad thing. Good, because the slower time goes, the longer he has until he has to go home and see Alex. Bad, because he’s ready to get on stage and sing.

“Excuse me?” Louis was pulled back to reality and turned toward the voice. Louis’ breath caught in his throat when he caught sight of who addressed him. A man - clearly younger than Louis, but obviously legal to be in a bar- who was dressed in beige jeans that were tighter than Louis’, a form-fitting white V-neck shirt, and a black blazer. He had piercing eyes, though with the lighting, Louis was having difficulty making out the color. And, to top things off, he had the most gorgeous head of chocolate brown curls.

“Can I help you?” Louis flashed a charming smile and put a little extra “friendliness” in his voice.

“I’m new to London, and I was looking for a good place to grab a drink.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place. Whiskey Kiss is about as good as you’re gonna get in this part of London.” The mystery man took a seat at the bar and flashed a smile, revealing the cutest pair of dimples.

“What would you recommend I order, then?” It took everything Louis had not to jump over the bar and attack this man. Louis took a breath, steeling himself. Why was he feeling this way? He had a boyfriend, one whom he was in love with. Why was he having such feelings toward another man?

“Well, how drunk are you planning on getting?” Curly, Louis’ pet name for him, gave a shrug and smiled more.

“I’d like to actually remember tonight, so probably not much.” Louis grabbed a glass and set it on the bar, filling it with ice. He then proceeded to fill it about an inch high with vanilla vodka. To add his final touch, he popped the tab on a cold can of Coca-Cola and filled the rest of the glass.

“Vanilla vodka and Coke. Basically, it’s like Vanilla Coke. But, one of these will get the job done.” Curly picked the drink up, taking a big swig of it. Louis couldn’t help but notice the veins in his neck bulge as he swallowed.

“Hey, Lou. You’re on in about five minutes.” Louis gave a nod, smiling at Curly.

“On for what?” 

“For open-mic. Liam, the owner, lets all the alcohol-infused people who suck sing first, then I go on and blow ‘em all away.” Curly smiled and took another drink.

“What are you going to sing?” Louis leaned close, a playful smirk on his face.

“If I told you, then I’d have to kill you.” Curly chuckled and finished his drink.

“I’m Harry Styles.” He held out a rather large hand and as Louis shook it, he couldn’t help but wonder what those hands would feel like roaming his body.

“Louis Tomlinson.”

 

~*~

 

“For our final open-mic of the evening, please give a big welcome for Whiskey Kiss’ very own, Louis Tomlinson!” The bar clapped and cheered as Louis took his place on the small stage. He glanced around, his eyes landing on a curly-haired man at the bar.

“Alright, well… This is another song I’ve written. It’s called ‘What If?’” Louis closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer, hoping Alex wouldn’t come in. Louis took a deep breath and started playing, feeling the Alex-inspired words come to him.

_“Don’t speak; I can’t believe this is here, happening. Our situation isn’t right. Get real, who you playing with? I never thought he’d be like this. You were supposed to be there by my side._ _“When you say you want me, I just don’t believe it. You’re always ready to give up, but never turn around. But, what if I need you, baby? Would you even try to save me? Or would you find some lame excuse to never be true? What if I said I loved you? Would you be the one to run to? Or would you watch me walk away without a fight?_ _“I’m so sick of worrying that you’re gonna quit over anything. I could trip and you’d let go like that. And everything that we ever were seems to fade, but not the hurt. ‘Cause you don’t know the good things from the bad._ _“When I say that I want you, you know that I mean it. And in my hour of weakness, there’s still time to try.”_

**As Louis began the chorus, Alex stood by the bar, fuming. Alex knew those words were about him. He looked around, seeing everyone hanging onto every lyric Louis sang, especially a curly-haired young man. Grabbing a beer from the bar, Alex made his way closer to the stage, watching as Louis dissolved into the bridge.**

_“Every time I speak, you try and stop me. ‘Cause every little thing I say is wrong. You say you notice me, but you never see. This is who I really am that you can’t believe. Makes me wanna know right now if it’s me you’ll live without or would you change your mind? What if I need you?”_

Alex could admit that the last chorus was exceptionally powerful, but he wasn’t going to say it out loud. If anything, it made Alex even more furious at the fact that Louis would dare to sing about their relationship. Alex watched as the crowd erupted into applause for Louis. As he made his way toward the stage, he made eye contact

Louis knew he was caught. When he saw the fury in Alex’s eyes, he felt his heart slowly plummet into his stomach. He felt the color leave his face, cold sweat taking over his body. There was no way Louis could escape Alex’s wrath. He was doomed.

“Louis, mate! That was epic!” Niall’s bone-crushing hug pulled Louis from his thoughts. He patted Niall’s back, feeling Alex’s stare. If looks could kill, Louis would be dead.

“T-Thanks, Niall. I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight, yeah?” Louis pulled away and smiled softly.

“Nah, I’m good! I swear I’ve only had one of your drinks.” Louis sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with Niall while he was drinking. He took a look around the crowded place, desperate for another distraction to keep him from having to face Alex. Eyes landing on a head of curls, Louis felt both completely at ease and on edge.

“Louis?” Louis looked up, seeing Harry. If Alex saw Louis flirting with Harry, he would definitely be dead. But, it was impossible not to flirt with Harry.

“Hi, Harry. Did you like the performance?” 

“Absolutely. It was incredible. You have an amazing voice!” 

“He does, doesn’t he?” Alex placed a hand on the back of Louis’ neck, gripping lightly.

“A-Alex… What are you doing here? You said you were working late?” Louis was beyond scared. Whiskey Kiss was the place where Louis felt safe. But now, he felt the fear fill his entire being.

“I busted my ass at work, so I got off early. So, I thought I’d come see you, and it looks like I made it just in time for your little show.” _Great_ , Louis thought. _Alex is playing nice._

“Hi, I’m Harry Styles.” Harry stuck his hand out and Alex acted as if he didn’t notice.

“Alex Pettyfer. Come on, Louis. It’s time to go.” Louis turned to Alex, biting his lip.

“I can’t. I’m the only bartender.” Louis felt Alex’s grip tighten on his neck.

“We’re. Going. Home.” Louis knew not to object any further. He just nodded and without a second glance was pushed out the door.

 

~*~

 

“What did I say about singing about our relationship?!” Louis yelped, feeling Alex’s hand come across his face. Tears brimmed his eyes as he took hesitant steps back, trying to get away. Alex closed in on him, though, cornering him until he had nowhere to go.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what else to sing!” Alex reached out and grabbed Louis by the throat, squeezing it. Louis wrapped his hands around Alex’s forearm, gasping for air. Louis was weak. His tolerance was wearing thin and so was his body. He dreaded the day that one of Alex’s hits would be the end of Louis Tomlinson.

“You are never going to sing again. Do you hear me?” Louis squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Alex’s grip tighten. He could no longer gasp; his airways were closed. _This is it_ , Louis thought. _Goodbye world_.

Almost as quick as the strangling started, it ended. Louis fell to his knees, letting the tears fall freely. He never knew how important oxygen really was until he couldn’t get any more. What had he done to make Alex hate him so much? If he didn’t like the relationship, he could leave. Louis wasn’t holding him back. Why was Alex choosing to take his anger out on Louis’ body?

“Do not come into the bedroom. You can sleep in the basement for all I care.” Louis looked completely broken as Alex walked away. He had no way of knowing what was going on in Alex’s head. He didn’t know what was good or bad anymore.

 

“Louis, I hate that guy. Honestly. Look what that piece of shit is doing to you.” Louis refrained from sighing as he applied more concealer on his neck. When Louis had woken up the next morning, Alex was already gone. The marks, however, were not. Alex’s fingerprints were bruised into Louis’ neck because of how hard he had squeezed.

“Liam, please. You don’t understand.” 

“You’re right! I don’t understand! I don’t understand how you can just bow down and let him abuse you like this!” Louis flinched at his words. 

**Abuse…**

Louis couldn’t help but confide in Liam. They’ve been friends since high school. They had big dreams. Liam planned to open a bar much bigger than Whiskey Kiss and have Louis be the house singer. Then, Louis threw a party and once Liam saw Louis’ drink-mixing skills, Liam needed Louis as a bartender.

Liam cared deeply for Louis. When they met, Louis was very quiet and reserved. He only talked when he had to. Every teacher’s dream. Even though Louis was older than Liam, he felt the need to take care of Louis. He knew how fragile Louis was, and to see how bad Alex was hurting him infuriated him.

“Louis, babe. This is killing me, seeing you hurting like this.” Louis’ attention turned toward the floor.

“I’m not hurting. I’m perfectly fine.” Louis knew he was lying to himself. But, what choice did he have? He didn’t have the strength to leave Alex. Liam knelt in front of where Louis was sitting, cupping his cheeks. His once-blue eyes were now a cloudy gray.

“Baby, you are. Your eyes aren’t even sparkling anymore. You need to leave him. You’re so much happier when you’re not around him.” Louis’ eyes filled with tears, knowing that what Liam was saying was true.

“I can’t leave him, Liam. I love him.”

“You don’t love him. You fear him.”


	3. Chapter Two: "And the tears come streaming down your face..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a mild rape scene in this chapter, and if that bothers you, I suggest that you do not read.

Louis felt better after the talk he had with Liam. He convinced Liam to not interfere and that if things get extremely bad, he would tell him. Louis feared Alex, which was true. But, he also loved him. For the past six years, Alex is all that Louis has known. Could Louis really survive in a world without Alex? The real question was: could Louis continue to survive in a world _with_ Alex?

“Alex, I’m doing some laundry. Is there anything certain that you want washed?” Louis stood at the bottom of the stairs, laundry basket under one arm. He looked at Alex, who was sprawled out on the couch, playing Xbox. 

“Fuck off. Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Sorry. If you want to wear dirty clothes, that’s on you.” Louis started advancing toward the basement when he felt the Xbox controller hit the back of his head. He dropped the laundry basket and held the back of his head.

“You know better than to talk back to me.” Alex pushed Louis against the wall, holding him by the neck. Louis had his hands on the wall, feeling Alex press against his back. He closed his eyes, trying to think of someplace far away, to forget about what was about to happen. He heard Alex unzip his pants, and he couldn’t help but let out a whimper.

“Alex, please... You had me this morning. Enough is enough.” Alex grabbed Louis by the hair and slammed his head into the wall. He pushed Louis’ pajama pants and boxers to the ground, and _**slammed**_ into him. Literally, slammed. 

Louis let out a God-awful cry of pain as he felt his head split open and Alex’s dick go inside him so hard, he could have sworn he ripped. Louis clawed at the wall, desperate to get away. Alex had a death grip on him. He slammed and slammed again, knowing how much pain Louis was in. 

“This will teach you to respect me.” Louis cried silent tears of pain as Alex continued his rape. He never thought the day would come when his own boyfriend would _rape_ him. 

~*~

“Louis, this has got to stop. Immediately.” Louis sat in Liam’s kitchen as Liam applied stitches to his forehead. Louis closed his eyes and sighed.

“I didn’t come to you to hear you bad mouth my boyfriend, Liam. I came here because I didn’t want to go to the hospital, and you have a medical degree. Which makes no sense considering you own a bar. Wouldn’t you much rather be a doctor?” Liam put gauze and a bandage over Louis’ wound and looked down at him. 

“Baby boy, you have got to get away from him before he kills you.” Liam lifted Louis’ chin to look him in the eyes.

“I can’t.”

“And why not?” Louis opened his mouth to speak, but no words would surface. He didn’t know why he couldn’t leave Alex. Was he afraid that Alex wouldn’t let him leave? Or, was he afraid that he wouldn’t know how to handle himself without him?

“I just can’t. Let’s just leave it at that, okay?” Liam sighed, feeling defeated. He placed a gentle kiss upon Louis’ head and brought him into his arms.

“Louis Tomlinson, I love you and care for you so much. Even though it’s tearing me apart, I’m honoring your wishes not to beat that sad excuse for a man to a pulp. But, I swear... If he draws blood one more time, I will kill him.” Louis wrapped his arms around Liam’s arms, feeling safe. He closed his eyes and sighed softly and knew Liam was speaking the truth.

~*~

“Hello, Whiskey Kiss! I’m the proud owner, Liam Payne. I hope everyone that is drinking has either a designated driver or a number for a taxi. If you don’t, either come to me or my bartender, Louis and we will personally pay for your cab. Now, first up for our open-mic is… Yours truly. Yes, I will be singing a song. My mate, Louis, has taught me some mad piano skills so I thought I would put them to good use.” Louis filled a beer mug up and handed it to some redhead busty girl. He kept his eyes on Liam, wondering what on Earth he could be singing.

Liam took his place on the piano stool, and stared in Louis’ direction. He gave a small smile and nodded, encouraging Liam to go.

“This song isn’t mine, because I can’t write worth shit.” Liam began playing and kept his eyes locked on Louis’, singing directly to him.

_“Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes. Come on and come to me, now. Don’t be ashamed to cry. Let me see you through ‘cause I’ve seen the dark side, too. When the night falls on you, you don’t know what to do. Nothing you confess can make me love you less._ _“I’ll stand by you. I’ll stand by you. Won’t let nobody hurt you. I’ll stand by you. So, if you’re mad, get mad. Don’t hold it all inside. Come on and talk to me, now. Hey, why you got to hide? I get angry, too. But, I’m a lot like you._ _“When you’re standing at the crossroads, and don’t know which path to choose, let me come along. ‘Cause even if you’re wrong, I’ll stand by you. I’ll stand by you. Won’t let nobody hurt you. I’ll stand by you. Take me into your darkest hour, and I’ll never desert you. I’ll stand by you._

_“And when, when the night falls on you, baby, you’re feeling all alone. You won’t be on your own. I’ll stand by you. I’ll stand by you. Won’t let nobody hurt you. I’ll stand by you. Take me into your darkest hour, and I’ll never desert you. I’ll stand by you. I’ll stand by you. Won’t let nobody hurt you. I’ll stand by you. And I’ll never desert you, I’ll stand by you. I’ll stand by you. Won’t let nobody hurt you. I’ll stand by you.”_

Louis turned away from his guests, wiping a few tears that managed to get out. Why did Liam have to sing that song?

“Well, fancy meeting you here again.” Louis smiled softly to himself, knowing he would recognize that voice anywhere. He turned around and saw Harry, the curly-haired young man that made Louis’ stomach do backflips. Something Alex has never been able to do.

“Now, I work here. So, in order for us to meet here, you would have to come to me. Is that the case, here?” Harry sat on the bar stool and placed his hands on the bar, lacing his fingers together.

“Not unless you don’t want it to be. Then, I can say that I’m here with a date.” Harry winked and Louis couldn’t help but pray that he didn’t come with a date.

“Since when is it normal for a guy to take a date to a bar?” 

“Who said I was normal?” Louis let out a small chuckle and leaned on the bar.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure. A beer would be fine. But, only if you have one with me.” Louis smiled and got two beer bottles out, handing one to Harry. 

“So, how are you liking London so far?” Louis opened his and Harry’s beer, taking a drink of his own. He watched Harry do the same and smiled softly.

“I’m liking it very well. And I owe my thanks to a certain bartender.” Harry winked and Louis felt a small blush creep up on his cheeks.

“And would that bartender be me?” Harry smiled, showing his gorgeous dimples and nodded.

“There’s something about you, Mr. Tomlinson. I haven’t quite figured it out yet. But, I want to.” Louis smiled and nodded.

“Maybe you can.”

 

A couple of hours had gone by, and Louis was pretty buzzed. He couldn’t stop flirting with Harry, no matter how hard he tried. Not that he was trying, but still. He had a boyfriend.

“So, what’s the deal with your man?” Louis set his empty beer bottle in the trash and looked at Harry, biting his lip.

“Alex?”

“Yeah. You never seem to talk about him.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Louis wiped off the bar and desperately wanted nothing more than to just stop talking to Harry, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to.

“Well, how long have you been together?” Louis looked at Harry and sighed. He leaned on the bar and rubbed his eyes. Louis found himself wanting to open up to Harry, and he didn’t like that. He didn’t want Harry to find out his darkest secrets. He was beginning to like the way things were between them: friendly banter and harmless flirting. He didn’t want to jeopardize it by telling him about the one thing he couldn’t even bring himself to admit.

“Six years, almost seven.”

“You don’t sound too happy about it.” Louis ran a hand through his hair and sighed again. He could feel it in his bones: the wanting. He knew his body and mind ultimately wanted to tell Harry, so desperately that he could sense he wouldn’t be able to stop. He’s never had a case of word vomit, and he didn’t want to start then. But, he could feel the bile words rising from the deepest depths of his stomach, through his chest, and up his esophagus. One more question from Harry, and the bile would come right out of his mouth.

“Well, in some way, I guess I’m not.” Harry sat straighter on his bar stool, listening. Louis could practically see the gears in his brain turning as Harry processed this information.

“What do you mean?” Louis covered his face, knowing what was coming. But, he couldn’t stop it. He bit his lip, tasting the iron from his blood. He took a deep breath and looked at Harry, the words flowing defenselessly from his lips.

“He, um… He hits me.”

“He hits you?!” Louis cautiously looked around and internally thanked the genius who invented alcohol because the people that were seated around them didn’t hear what Harry said.

“Yes, but please… Keep your voice down.”

“Louis, how can you be with him when he does that to you?”

“It’s complicated, okay? And I don’t expect you to understand.” Louis began clearing off the bar, wiping it again. The buzz he had earlier had fizzled out completely, leaving him feeling sober and raw. He was not expecting his conversation with Harry to go this direction.

“Louis…” Harry reached over and grabbed his wrist, and Louis immediately had a flashback of when Alex grabbed his wrist the first night they met. But, this time was different. When Alex did it, Alex was showing power over Louis. When Harry did it, he was showing concern. Louis didn’t know which was worse.

“Louis, look at me.” Louis looked up into those precious, emerald green eyes and felt the urge to fight back his tears.

“Louis, no matter how complicated a relationship is, nobody deserves to get beaten. Except for maybe the person doing the beating. Lou, why don’t you leave him? Dump him.” 

“I can’t, Harry. Okay? I just can’t.”

“Why? Are you afraid he’s going to try and stop you?” Louis stopped breathing when Harry said that. It was like Harry was getting into his head.

“A little, yes.” Why was Louis telling him all of this? More importantly, why couldn’t he stop?

“Hon, I’m here to tell you, that’s not going to happen. If you want, I’ll be with you when you do it. I’ll make sure he won’t touch you. I may look smaller than him, but dynamite comes in small packages.” Louis had to smile at Harry’s words. Besides Liam, Louis’ never told anyone about Alex before. Like, the real Alex. For the most part, it felt good.

“No. I can’t let you do that. I won’t let you. Look, I appreciate your concern, but it’s my relationship and I’ll do with it what I will.” Louis found it hard to walk away from Harry, but he did. He knew Harry would probably never talk to him again, and maybe that was for the better. Louis didn’t need a cute guy to distract him. He had Alex…

~*~

Louis sat at the piano and stared at the keys, trying to figure out what to play. How could this happen? How could he freeze up? He’s never done this. He looked around, biting his lip. He was searching for inspiration and that’s when he sight locked in on Harry.

“Okay… I don’t really have a song planned, so I’m just gonna go with it.” Louis took a deep breath and started playing, closing his eyes and thinking only of Harry.

_“How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb. Without a soul, my spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home._

_“Wake me up inside, wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run before I come undone. Save me from the nothing I’ve become._

_“Now I know what I’m without, you can’t just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life. Wake me up inside, wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run before I come undone. Save me from the nothing I’ve become. Bring me to life. Bring me to life._

 _“Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling. Only you are the life among the dead. All of this time, I can’t believe I couldn’t see that you were right in front of me. I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems, got to open my eyes to everything. Without a voice, without a soul, there must be something more. Bring me to life! Wake me up inside, wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run before I come undone. Save me from the nothing I’ve become…”_

Louis sang the final chorus, and by the end of the song, tears were hopelessly falling down his cheeks. He hated it. He hated what Alex was doing to him. He hated feeling worthless, like Alex didn’t care. He wanted somebody to love him. He wanted somebody to take care of him… To fix him.

And that’s just what Harry’s plan was.


	4. Chapter Three: "I promise you that I will learn from my mistakes..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex destroys something of Louis' and Louis doesn't think he'll ever be able to forgive him.

Louis walked into the house that night after helping close the bar, and he was worn out. He slipped his shoes off by the door, hanging his keys up. He ran a hand through his hair, and looked around.

“Alex? I’m home.” Louis walked into the kitchen, flipping on the light. He heard a loud crash coming from the basement and the first thought to Louis’ mind was his piano. He flew down the stairs and widened his eyes as he watched his boyfriend destroy his life.

“Alex! What are you doing?! Stop!” Louis ran to Alex and grabbed his arm that held the baseball bat Alex was using. Tears already formed in his eyes, ready to fall at a moment’s notice.

“Get the fuck off of me! I told you to never sing again!” Alex shoved Louis out of the way and swung the bat down, sending keys flying everywhere. Louis screamed, keys hitting him in the face. He shielded himself as his tears began to fall. Alex swung again, damaging the polished wood furnishing. Wood chips flew everywhere as Louis helplessly tried to stop him. 

“Alex! Fucking stop! You can’t do this to me!” Louis pushed Alex away from his piano, which was more or less broken beyond repair. He picked up a few keys and tried to place them back in their original rightful place. Screaming again, Louis jumped and narrowly avoided getting hit with the bat as Alex constructed more harmful damage.

“The hell I can’t! You’re mine, Louis! I control you!” With ease, Alex picked Louis up and slammed him into the piano. He got close to him, grabbing his throat. Louis looked up with scared eyes, knowing he had crossed a line.

“A-Alex, I c-can’t…” Alex squeezed tighter, disabling his ability to speak.

“Don’t! Don’t fucking talk back to me! I run this house, Louis Tomlinson! Not you! You’re not going back to that worthless bar! You’re never singing again! I don’t want to hear your stupid piano or your stupid songs again!” Alex threw him to the ground, and as Louis watched from the ground, he destroyed everything Louis had earned in high school to pay for.

 

~*~

 

After Alex left for work the following morning, Louis sat on the basement stairs and just cried. He cried for all the pain Alex was putting him through, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He cried because he was in way too deep to be able to get out alive. He cried because Liam was right. And he cried for Harry. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there before he realized there was someone banging on the door. He slowly got to his feet, taking one last look at his broken piano before treading back up the stairs. It wasn’t seconds after he unlocked the door before Liam and Harry came barging in.

“W-What… What are you guys doing here?” Louis held a confusion expression, taking in Liam’s worry lines and Harry’s concerned face.

“What are we…? What are we doing here?! Louis, we’ve been calling for over an hour, trying to reach you! When you didn’t answer, we rushed over here because we thought something happened! And then you wouldn’t answer the door! I was about to call the police!” Louis hated when Liam yelled at him. He was used to Alex yelling at him, but not Liam.

“What’s that on your neck?” Louis looked up at Harry, and his hand instantly flew to cover the bruises on his neck.

“N-Nothing, just—” Liam removed Louis’ hand and his eyes widened.

“He did it again! What else did he do, Louis?! What other marks did he leave?!” Louis started backing away from him, taking a deep breath.

“Liam, please stop yelling.” Liam came over and quickly removed Louis’ shirt, revealing countless bruises, old and new. Louis closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look on Harry’s face. 

“Turn around.”

“Liam, please—”

“Turn the fuck around, Louis.” Louis slowly turned around, revealing the gash in his back from the piano, dried blood around it.

“He cut you?”

“No. He, um… He destroyed my piano. I tried to push him away from it, but he grabbed me and slammed me into it.” Liam grabbed Louis’ arm and spun him around, the fury clearly showing in his eyes. Louis took a deep breath and waited for his blowup.

“I told you, Louis. I fucking told you! If he drew blood one more fucking time, I’d kill him!” As if this situation could get any worse, Alex walked in the door. He took a look around the room, and Louis watched the rage build in his eyes. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Liam released Louis’ arm and stood straighter, looking at Alex.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on. You’re abusing my friend.” Alex snorted and crossed his arms, looking amused.

“Oh, really? Did he tell you that?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, he did. Not that he needed to anyway. The bruises are proof enough.”

“Get the fuck out of my house.” Louis bit his lip. He couldn’t let Alex talk that way to his friend.

“Not without Louis.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. We’re not leaving unless Louis comes with us. You’re sick, do you know that? Any man who hits his partner, isn’t a man. He’s a pathetic fucking piece of shit. Six years, Alex. Six fucking years of me standing by, watching you kill my best friend. Well, it’s not going to happen anymore! You’re never going to lay a hand on him again!” 

Alex stepped forward, getting in Liam’s face. He towered over Liam, but Liam wasn’t backing down. Louis gripped his hair, terrified of something bad happening. Alex turned away from Liam and took three strides to Louis, backing him into the wall.

“You told him.” Louis gulped and stared into the fury-infused eyes of his boyfriend.

“I didn’t have a choice. The m-marks…” Alex raised a hand and backhanded Louis so hard, it brought tears to his eyes. He instantly felt ashamed and embarrassed, letting Liam and Harry see it actually happening.

“How’s this for a fucking mark?!” Louis held his cheek and stared at his boyfriend. Out of the corner of his eye, Louis saw Harry and Liam clench their fists and step forward. Louis held a hand up, halting their movements. Then, he took a deep breath and stood straight, looking Alex straight in the eyes.

“What the hell did I do to you, to make you hate me so much? Seriously, Alex. We’ve been together for six years! I’ve waited on you hand and foot! I cook for you, I do your fucking laundry, and I’m your fucking sex slave! Why do you hate me? What have I done?” Louis saw the rage fill Alex’s eyes even more than before. He cowered against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Alex, mate. Come on. We’re going to be— ” Louis opened his eyes to see one of Alex’s colleagues, Zayn Malik.

“Zayn, I told you to wait in the car.” Zayn walked up and grabbed Alex by the wrist, pulling him away from Louis.

“And I told you to cut this shit out. When you first told me you hit him, you said it’d be the last time. What the hell, Alex? What kind of man beats up on his partner?” Louis couldn’t believe what he was hearing. One of Alex’s best mates was standing up for him.

“Zayn, it’s none of your fucking business!”

“The hell it isn’t! You dragged me into it when you first told me! You’re lucky I don’t fucking go to the police! Is that what you want?! To spend the rest of your sorry life in prison?”

“Louis, come on. We’re leaving.” Louis looked at Liam, biting his lip. He was scared to move. He didn’t want Alex becoming angrier with him.

“Louis, babe. Come on. You need to get out of here.” Louis shook his head, taking in a shaky breath. Louis looked away from Alex’s piercing eyes, immediately locking onto Harry’s emerald ones.

“Louis, please. Just come with us.” Other than noticing his neck, Harry hadn’t spoken to Louis until this very moment. Louis was still terrified to move away from the wall, but there was a certain look in Harry’s eyes. That look enabled Louis to peel himself away from the wall and bolt out the door.

Louis didn’t stop running when he reached the sidewalk, not even when he heard Liam and Harry’s worried voices.

“If you ever try to come back here again, you’re a fucking dead man!” Alex’s shouts filled his mind as Louis kept running. 

Four blocks later, Louis felt his adrenaline slowly drain from him. He slowed down and looked at his surroundings, realizing he had been heading in the direction of Liam’s house. Louis bent forward, placing his hands on his knees as he tried to regain his breath. The cold started to wrap itself around Louis, and it didn’t help the situation when Louis realized he was shirtless. 

He ran a hand through his hair, knowing all his bruises were on full display. He kept his head down as he started walking to Liam’s, not wanting anyone to stop him and ask him what had happened. He made it to Liam’s and collapsed on his front steps. He put his head in his hands and just cried. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but he cried a lot.

“Louis.” Louis didn’t have to look up to know who it was. His voice had been forever engrained into his brain and heart on the first night they met. Harry sat next to him, taking his jacket off. He put it around Louis’ shoulders and looked at him, smiling softly.

“Thanks.” Louis pulled the jacket tighter around him, wiping his eyes.

“Liam’s on his way back here. Alex stormed out after you did. Liam tried to stop him from getting to his car. He didn’t want him coming after you, so after Alex left, Liam followed him. So, I came after you.” Louis sighed, wiping his eyes again.

“Thank you for coming for me.” 

“Come on.” Harry stood up, holding his hand out for Louis to take. Louis finally took the chance and looked up at him. Harry wasn’t lying when he said that he would be there when Louis left Alex. Harry came after him. He didn’t have to do that. So, Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and stood up.

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going to my apartment, so I can clean your back up.”

 

~*~

 

It took everything in Louis not to wince in pain as Harry cleaned up his cut. He gripped the countertop and squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Harry was only trying to help.

“You may need stitches. Would you like me to drive you to the hospital?”

“No, it’s fine. Liam can do it, later.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.” Louis put on a plain white shirt Harry had loaned him and sat on the stool by the island counter.

“How long did Liam know about everything?” Louis ran his hand through his hair. He knew he wouldn’t have been able to hide from his friends for long.

“When he noticed a bruise. He knows when I’m lying, and I’ve never lied to Liam in my life so I came clean to him. I just made him promise me that he wouldn’t do anything about it. I didn’t want him getting hurt.” Harry stood so close to him, Louis could smell the Blue Chanel aftershave. Harry reached a hand up and placed it on his cheek.

“Louis, promise me you won’t go back to him.” The tone in Harry’s voice made Louis believe that he genuinely thought Louis would go back to Alex. To Louis, it sounded as if Harry understood how hard it was going to be for Louis to leave everything behind. Louis didn’t say anything, because he thought that if he did, it wouldn’t be an answer that Harry would like.

“Promise me.” Harry rested his hands on Louis’ shoulders, pleading him. Louis just shook his head, and for the third time today, he broke down. Only this time, Harry wrapped his protective arms around him and held him while he cried. Eventually, Louis stopped crying and Harry reluctantly let go of Louis as his phone rang. 

“Hello? Yeah. He’s with me. Come to mine. Okay. Bye.” Louis knew it was Liam on the phone, and he was no doubt freaking out about whether or not Harry had found him. It wasn’t even five minutes later, and Liam was barging through the door. 

“Louis. Thank God. What the hell, mate? I’m proud that you finally stood up to that prick, but why did you let it get this bad? All the abuse, the hitting, the punching, the rape? Louis, what is it going to take for you to realize that you deserve better than this? I got all your stuff from Alex’s and you’re going to stay with me for now, okay? That way I can keep an eye on you and make sure Alex doesn’t try to cause any more trouble.”

“You should listen to him, Louis. I’ll be here for you, too. If you need anything at all.” Louis nodded and started to walk towards Liam to go home with him, but turned and looked back at Harry again. 

“Thanks, mate. For everything.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Once Louis was safe inside Liam’s house, he got stitched up and was settling into the guest room.

“Get some rest, Louis. If you need anything, I’m just in the next room.” Louis fell asleep immediately, not having to worry about what Alex would do to him in his sleep or if he would come into the room late at night feeling particularly horny. Everything was peaceful for the first time in what felt like forever. 

That was until Louis woke up damp with sweat from the nightmares.


	5. Chapter Four: "Could it be worse?"

The nightmares always started off the same. Louis would walk into the house he shared with Alex, and Alex would be there, waiting for him. The nightmares were so vivid; Louis could almost feel the hits. Alex would get so evil in the nightmares that Louis honestly thought he would die in his sleep. Then, the screaming would start and Liam would come in and shake him until he woke up. Louis would frantically look around and realize that it had, in fact, been a dream and start to calm down.

It’s been two weeks since Louis ran away from Alex. Most of his bruises have relatively faded away, but there are still scars. When Louis isn’t at the bar, he’s with Liam and Harry. He feels crowded sometimes because it feels to him as if they won’t let him have any time alone, which is what he needs.

He wants to start writing again, but he needs to be alone with his thoughts to actually write. Liam and Harry want him to talk about his feelings, but in order for Louis to do that, he needs to write a song. He has all these built up feelings: anger, betrayal, and pain. He needs to let it out. He has to, or he’ll go insane.

“So, Louis. What do you want to do today?” Louis was sitting at Liam’s island counter, across from Liam and Harry. He picked his tea up and took a small sip, keeping his eyes on them.

“I want you. To leave me. Alone.”

“Louis, we just—”

“Yeah, I know. But, the only way you’re going to get me to open up about my feelings, is to leave me alone long enough to write.” Liam and Harry exchanged glances, and nodded.

“Well, I have some inventory to do at Whiskey Kiss. Harry, you wouldn’t mind joining me, would you? Since you’re going to be bartending.”

“Wait, what? Harry’s going to be a bartender?”

“Well, you’re always so busy on the weekends, so I figured I’d give him some of your time.”

“No! Liam, I’m fine! I need to be busy. Stop treating me like I’m a God damned child!” Louis got up from his seat, grabbed his keys and jacket, and left.

~*~

Louis pulled into the University parking lot and ran a hand through his hair. Uni always had a great music wing, and it’s open to anyone wishing to use it. Louis got out and walked inside.

“Hi, I was wondering if there were any pianos available for use.” Louis stopped at the main office in the music wing. There was only one worker in the main office. She was a young girl, clearly a student. She had shoulder-length, wavy brown hair and these big, bright brown eyes.

“Are you a student?”

“No, but I called a few days ago and they said the music wing is open to anyone.”

“Okay, that’s not a problem. Can I have your name, please?”

“My name is Louis Tomlinson.” The girl’s eyes widened, a slow smile coming across her face.

“Oh, my God! I knew you looked familiar! I watch you perform at Whiskey Kiss all the time! I’m a huge fan.” Louis smiled and leaned on the counter, trying to place her face.

“Are you one of my regulars? I don’t think I’ve served you. I’d remember a pretty face.”

“Oh, I don’t drink. I just come with my friends, and enjoy the performances.”

“You know, I serve other things than just alcohol. You don’t have to drink alcohol to order something from the bar.”

“Well, I’ll remember that next time. I’m Emma. Emma Watson.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Emma. Come by the bar sometime and say hi.” Louis grabbed his visitor’s pass and proceeded into the music hall, to the piano.

For the past six years, Louis had felt so many different emotions. He felt things he never deserved to feel. He had to endure so much, and for him to finally be free of Alex was too good to be true. Little did he know how true that statement really was.

~*~

“So, Liam filled me in on your ex. You okay?” Louis refilled Niall’s beer mug and shrugged.

“I’m better than I was. But, I’m still healing.”

“You could have told someone, Louis. We would have protected you.”

“I was scared to tell, Niall. You can’t really blame me.”

“Hi, Louis!” Louis looked over and saw Emma waving at him. Louis lifted a hand and waved back, genuinely smiling.

“Who… Who’s that?”

“Her name is Emma. She’s a student at University.”

“Introduce me. Please, Louis. I will be forever thankful if you introduce me.” Louis waved Emma over and smiled more as she skipped over, her little dress fluttering around her. 

“Are you performing tonight?”

“Yes, I am. I always do. Are you?”

“I was thinking about it. How do I sign up?”

“Just go tell Liam you want to sing. He’s over by the stage.”

“Okay, thanks! I’ll go tell him now!” Emma started to turn away, but Louis grabbed her hand.

“Emma, wait. I have someone I want to introduce you to.” Emma smiled at him and nodded. 

“This is Niall Horan. He’s one of my regulars. Niall, this is Miss Emma Watson.” Just like that, it was as if Louis faded away and the only two people left were Niall and Emma. Louis left them alone and tended to the bar, serving orders. 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a newcomer singing tonight. Please give it up for Emma Watson.” Louis watched as Emma walked onto the stage and sat at the piano. Louis glanced over at Niall and saw his gaze fixated on her, a small smile on his face.

“Hello, I’m Emma. Um, this is one of my favorite songs, and I think I can sing it rather well. So, here goes.” Emma started playing, closing her eyes as she started to sing.

_“Notice me, take my hand. Why are we strangers when our love is strong? Why carry on without me? Every time I try to fly, I fall. Without my wings, I feel so small. I guess I need you, baby. And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face. It’s haunting me. I guess I need you, baby.”_

**Louis hung onto Emma’s words, feeling his heart start to race. Everyone in the bar was paying attention to her. Everyone, except Alex. He crept behind Louis, covering his mouth with his large hand and dragged him away. Nobody heard or saw anything.**

_“I make believe that you are here. It’s the only way I see clear. What have I done? You seem to move on easy. And every time I try to fly, I fall. Without my wings, I feel so small. I guess I need you, baby. And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face. You’re haunting me. I guess I need you, baby. I may have made it rain, please forgive me. My weakness caused you pain, and this song’s my sorry.”_

**Louis struggled against Alex. He struggled when Alex threw open the freezer where the alcohol was kept. He struggled and screamed when Alex threw him to the ground. He struggled even more when Alex started raping him, again. He cried tears of torture, wondering how nobody could hear them. How nobody could hear him scream. Louis’ tears were frozen to his face as Alex continued. He was no longer strong enough to fight back, so he just took it. He clenched his fists tighter with each slam Alex gave. He needed out, and he needed out fast.**

_“Oh, oh. At night I pray that soon your face will fade away. And every time I try to fly, I fall. Without my wings, I feel so small. I guess I need you, baby. And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face. You’re haunting me. I guess I need you, baby.”_

Everyone clapped for Emma. Niall turned to tell Louis how awesome he was for introducing them, and his face turned from happiness to horror when he realized Louis was nowhere to be found.

Open-mic was almost to its end by the time Louis appeared behind the bar again. Just by looking at him, people wouldn’t know if there was anything wrong with him. But, on the inside, Louis was screaming. He was in so much pain, so much _agony_ , and he didn’t think he would be able to sing. But, he _**needed**_ to sing. 

“Hey, Lou. Where did you go? You’ve missed the whole night.” Louis looked at Harry, giving him a small smile. 

“Um, yeah. Sorry about that. My mum called. She never calls this late, so I figured something was wrong. Turns out she just missed me.”

“Oh, well… The performances were actually pretty decent tonight. Especially Emma’s.”

“I heard part of Emma’s. She sang really nice.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You seem kind of… Upset about something.” Louis wanted to tell Harry. He wanted to confide in him, tell him what was going on. But, he couldn’t. Alex threatened to kill him if he told anyone. Louis was truly afraid of him, now.

“It’s that time again, crowd. Give it up for Louis Tomlinson!” Louis never answered Harry, though. Once his name was called, he practically ran to the stage. He couldn’t see Alex, but he could feel his eyes on him. He was watching.

“I just wrote this song today, so it’s still pretty fresh in my mind. It’s called ‘Underneath.’” Louis pressed his hands together, pressing them to his lips. From a distance, it looked like he was praying. When in reality, he was willing himself not to cry. He took another breath before he started speaking.

“I know my songs are slow and very… Depressing. I only write what’s in my heart, if that’s saying something. But, I want every one of you to see the real me. I want you to see what’s underneath, no pun intended. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors, and I want you to know. I want to tell you. But, I can’t. So, this is as close as you’re going to get.” Louis closed his eyes and started playing, very much aware of his tears. 

_“Strip away the flesh and bone. Look beyond the lies you’ve known. Everybody wants to talk about a freak. No one wants to dig that deep. Let me take you underneath. Baby, better watch your step. Never mind what’s on the left. You’re gonna see things you might not wanna see. It’s still not that easy for me underneath.”_

_“A red river of screams. Underneath, tears in my eyes. Underneath, stars in my black and blue sky, and underneath, under my skin, underneath the depths of my sin. Look at me, now do you see? Welcome to my world of truth. I don’t wanna hide any part of me from you. I’m standing here with no apologies. Such a beautiful release, you inside of me.”_

_“A red river of screams. Underneath, tears in my eyes. Underneath, stars in my black and blue sky, and underneath, under my skin, underneath the depths of my sin. Look at me, now do you see? Underneath, underneath, underneath, underneath, underneath! Welcome to my world of truth.”_

_“A red river of screams. Underneath, tears in my eyes. Underneath, stars in my black and blue sky, and underneath, under my skin, underneath the depths of my sin. Look at me, now do you see? Underneath, underneath, underneath! Look at me! Do you see? Yeah, yeah, yeah! Look at me. Do you see? Welcome to my world of truth. I don’t wanna hide any part of me from you.”_

Louis stood up to take a bow, and that’s when the song rang out. Louis felt the impact of the bullet, making him stumble back. He heard screams. He saw everyone running. He felt the blood flowing, but he couldn’t register where it was coming from. He felt his knees go weak and as he began to fall, someone caught him. He looked up and saw Harry’s fear-stricken face before his vision went blurry and everything turned black.


	6. Chapter Five: "Lights will guide you home..."

Everything was happening so fast. Doctors and nurses were running back and forth. Niall began swearing, quite loudly, every time a doctor would pass by them. Harry was desperately trying to wipe the blood from his hands, but it was no use. They were stained. Liam paced back and forth, biting his lip, chewing his fingernails. Nobody said a word to one another.

Louis was rushed to surgery. The bullet ruptured his spleen. The doctors were working fast, a nurse pumping oxygen into Louis’ mouth. They were able to remove the bullet rather quickly. But, Louis kept flat lining. How many times would his heart be able to take the shock from the defibrillator before it just gave up?

Two hours passed by and the friends of Louis Tomlinson had yet to receive any news. It was at Liam’s breaking point when the head doctor finally emerged from Louis’ room. He had blood all over his white coat, along with some on his hands and face.

“Are you family of Louis?” Harry looked at everyone, knowing the doctor wouldn’t tell anything unless family was around. 

“I’m his boyfriend.” Harry stood up, walking over to the doctor.

“And Liam, here, is his cousin.” Liam came up and stood beside Harry, holding his breath, holding out for hope.

“Okay. The bullet was removed, and he had to have a spleen transplant.” Harry’s breathing quickened and he grabbed Liam’s arm, praying that Louis was okay.

“How is he? Did he make it through surgery okay?”

“He flat-lined three times. But, we managed to bring him back and stabilize him. However, the shocks from the defibrillator were a little tiring on his heart. He’s in a coma.”

 

It’s been four days since Louis was shot, and since Louis fell into a coma. The boys were growing restless. They’ve been with him day and night. Louis looked incredibly small, wrapped up in the hospital blankets. The only noises in the room were the shallow breaths of his friends, and the heart monitor making the soft beeps, ensuring he was still alive. 

“Louis, please… Just wake up. Open your eyes.” Harry sat on the edge of the Louis’ bed, his small hand in Harry’s large ones.

“Any news?” Harry dropped Louis’ hand and turned to see Liam in the doorway.

“No. He’s still the same.”

“The police found the gun.”

“Did they check for prints?”

“Yeah, but whoever shot him wore gloves.”

“ _Whoever shot…?_ Liam, we _know_ who fucking did this!”

“Yes, _we_ do. But, we can’t just put the blame on him without any solid proof.”

“We have solid proof! Just look at his fucking scars! For six fucking _years_ , this man has abused Louis! What more proof do they need?!”

“Harry, I know you’re upset. Okay? I get it, trust me. They’ll catch him. I have security cameras placed around the whole bar. I gave the police the tapes, and they’re watching them as we speak.”

“Hey, guys!” Niall rushed in with Emma, breathless.

“I have… An idea.”

“An idea for what, Niall?”

“To try and wake Louis up.”

“Niall, we’ve already tried everything.” Niall led Emma to Louis’ bed and nodded to her.

“I’m going to sing to him. If anything were to wake him up, it’d be music. Right?” Harry and Liam walked to the other side of Louis’ bed and nodded. 

“Go on.” Emma grabbed Louis’ hand and kissed it softly. She sat on the edge of the bed and watched him as she started to sing.

_“You’re not alone. Together, we stand. We’ll be by your side. You know we’ll take your hand. When it gets cold, and it feels like the end, there’s no place to go. We know you won’t give in. No, you won’t give in.”_

_“Keep holding on. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through. Just stay strong. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through. There’s nothing you can say, nothing you can do. There’s no other way when it comes to the truth. So, keep holding on. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through.”_

_“So far away. We wish you were here. Before it’s too late, this could all disappear. Before the doors close, and it comes to an end, with you by our side, we will fight and defend. We’ll fight and defend.”_

_“Keep holding on. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through. Just stay strong. ‘Cause you know we’re here for you, we’re here for you. There’s nothing you can say, nothing you can do. There’s no other way when it comes to the truth. So, keep holding on. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through.”_

_“Hear me when I say, when I say we believe. Nothing’s gonna change, nothing’s gonna change destiny. Whatever’s meant to be will work out perfectly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Keep holding on. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through. Just stay strong. ‘Cause you know we’re here for you, we’re here for you. There’s nothing you can say, nothing you can do. There’s no other way when it comes to the truth. So, keep holding on. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through.”_

_“Keep holding on. Keep holding on. There’s nothing you can say, nothing you can do. There’s no other way when it comes to the truth. So, keep holding on. ‘Cause we know you’ll make it through, you’ll make it through.”_

During the song, Louis’ heart rate started to quicken. He heard the song. They all looked at him, waiting for him to open his eyes. But, nothing changed. Louis still remained lifeless. After a few hours, Niall, Liam, and Emma left. Harry was left alone with the boy he fell for a long time ago. 

“Louis, I can’t explain it. But, what you make me feel… It’s crazy. I need you to be okay. I need you to wake up and open up those beautiful eyes. I know what you’re going through. My dad used to hit me, but I got rid of him. If you let me, I can make sure Alex never hurts you again. I’ll protect you. I’ll save you, Louis. Let me save you.” Harry kept his gaze fixated on Louis, hoping for some small sign that would tell Harry that Louis could hear him. Nothing.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna try and sing you a song.” Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and took a deep breath, softly singing.

_“Isn’t he lovely? Isn’t he wonderful? Isn’t he precious, less than one minute old? And I never thought through love we’d be making wonders lovely as he. But, isn’t he lovely made from love?”_

 

The days were getting longer and longer for Harry. He would only leave to go home to shower so he wouldn’t smell when Louis finally did wake up. He surely thought singing a famous Stevie Wonder song would wake him up, but nothing happened. The waiting game was getting harder and harder to play, and Harry felt he was beginning to lose.

 

Whiskey Kiss finally reopened and everyone gathered in the notorious bar to have a benefit for Louis, to help raise money to help pay for the hospital expenses. If only Louis truly knew how loved he actually was. Liam assembled a bigger stage, as well as added a few more instruments.

“Hello, everyone. Welcome to the benefit. I really appreciate all of you coming. Louis would be truly happy. Unfortunately, his condition hasn’t changed. The doctors did say it shouldn’t be much longer before he wakes up. 

“Thankfully, they caught the man who shot Louis. His name is Alex Pettyfer, and he was Louis’ boyfriend. For six years, that man beat and raped Louis, but none of us knew. It amazes me how much Louis had kept hidden.” Liam walked over to the piano and sat down. He played a few keys, taking a few breaths.

“One of Louis’ favorite movies is _Peter Pan_. As a matter of face, Louis himself reminds me of Peter Pan. That boy never wanted to grow up. So, this song is dedicated to him. Hopefully, someone will sprinkle some Pixie dust on him and wake him up.”

As Liam began playing, the bar quieted down. Each individual held their drinks tight as they watched the owner and Louis’ longtime friend start to pour his heart out.

_“When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme, when you wish upon a star as dreamers do.”_

_“Fate is kind. She brings to those who love the sweet fulfillment of the secret longing. Like a bolt out of the blue, Fate steps in and sees you through. When you wish upon a star, your dream comes true.”_

_“If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme when you wish upon a star as dreamers do. When you wish upon a star, your dream comes true.”_

During Liam’s performance, everybody in the crowd deposited two or three dollars into a jar at the head of the stage. As the night went on, nobody noticed the feather-haired, blue-eyed boy that stood at the back of the bar. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he watched all the different voices sing for his benefit. He didn’t expect this to happen. But, he was even more surprised when his curly-haired angel took the stage.

“I’ve never sang in front of anyone before, but I’d do anything to try and help Louis. He was the first person I met in London. He was busy behind the bar, and as I watched him, he glowed. I know this is a bar, but this place is home to him. This is where he felt safe. I just wish he would wake up already.” Harry took a breath and pressed a few keys, out of tune at first, but then he got the melody. Louis felt his heart soar as Harry’s angelic voice echo around the bar.

_“You’ve been searching the world to find true love, looking in all the wrong places. When all of the time, you’ve been blind to love, as plain as the nose on your face says ‘It’s here, it’s now. Open your eyes and see it. Right here, right now. Open your eyes to love.’”_

_“You’ve been down on yourself thinking something’s wrong, wondering why love has never found you. Don’t you know it’s been right here all along, if only you’d look around you? It’s here; it’s now. Open your eyes and see it. Right here, right now. Open your eyes to love.”_

_“Love has been right by your side. Oh, so close that you couldn’t see. If love could speak, it would shout to the sky ‘I’ve always been here, I always will be!’ I’m here; I’m now. Open your eyes and see me. Right here, right now. Open your eyes to love. Open your mind to love. Open your heart to love.”_

Louis snuck his way to the back of the stage. His legs were trembling, somehow knowing what his heart was leading him to do. He carefully walked up the stairs that led to the stage. He stood behind the curtain, listening to the applause. Just do it, Louis thought. This is what you’ve been waiting for.

Something stopped him, though. Louis knew he was crazy for thinking it, but he didn’t want to get hurt again. He didn’t want to be left broken. Alex had ruined him. He felt guilty for lying in the hospital bed. He had awoken many days ago, but he couldn’t open his eyes.

He heard Emma’s song. He heard Harry’s song. For some reason, though, he couldn’t open his eyes. He was awake, but he felt… Scared to open his eyes. He didn’t want to see their worried eyes. He didn’t want to hear how thankful they were because he had woken up. He wanted to be alone, but they wouldn’t leave.

As Liam began talking, Louis quietly made his way in front of the curtain. Collective gasps and small shrieks filled the room once everybody caught sight of him. Liam and Harry turned around simultaneously, their eyes landing on Louis. 

“Did you mean what you said? When you were singing?” Louis was only speaking to Harry, and all Harry could seem to do was nod. Louis’ eyes filled with tears, knowing meeting Harry wasn’t by choice. Fate brought them together. 

For what felt like forever, Louis and Harry just stared at each other. They stared, as if finally realizing that their worlds were meant to collide head-on. Louis knew Harry was waiting for him to say something. But, what could he say? What could he possibly say that could sum up his feelings for him?

“Harry…” Louis didn’t need to say any more. He couldn’t say any more. Because once that name came out of his mouth, Harry lunged at Louis, pulling him into the most passionate kiss Louis has ever encountered. 

The night passed by in a blur, people singing and continuing to give money to help Louis out. Louis stood by the stage with Harry’s arm around his waist. He watched his friends and acquaintances sing for him. People kept coming up to him and shaking his hand, telling him how glad they were he was going to be okay.

“Louis?” Louis looked over, seeing Zayn Malik. Biting his lip, Louis lifted a hand in a wave.

“Hello, Zayn.”

“Can I speak with you for a few minutes?” Louis nodded, taking Harry’s hand in his. Leading them toward the back for some quiet, Louis began to feel nervous as to why Zayn wanted to speak to him.

“Louis, I want to apologize.”

“What?”

“When I first started at Alex’s company, he took me under his wing. He showed me everything there was to know about selling real estate. One night, we went out for drinks, and he told me that he hit you during a fight. I told him how wrong it was, and he promised he wouldn’t do it again. That it was only that one time. From then on, I kept asking how you were doing and I told him that I’d like to meet you some time, but he never invited me over. I never knew how bad it was until I walked in that one day and saw him with you.”

“Well, I appreciate you telling me, Zayn. But, you have nothing to apologize for, okay? You weren’t doing any harm to me.”

“I was with him when he bought the gun. He said it was for you, for your protection. I never thought anything of it because he said that your relationship was going really well. Then, I heard what happened, and that’s when it clicked. So I went to him. I had a tape recorder on me, and somehow, I got it out of him that he shot you. As soon as I left him, I went straight to the police.”

“You… _You_ turned him in? He was your friend.”

“I can’t stand being friends with someone who abuses their partner. I just did what I had to do to get him to confess. I wanted to protect you somehow. I wanted to make sure he couldn’t hurt you anymore.” 

“Thank you.” Louis walked to Zayn and hugged him tight, feeling a sense of pride and warmth for Zayn. 

“I hope we can be friends, Louis.”

“I think that can be arranged.” 

 

“Whiskey Kiss, please give a warm welcome to the one and only Louis Tomlinson!” Louis walked on stage as the whole bar applauded and cheered. Louis felt content, being back on stage. He waved as he took his place at the piano.

“Hello, everyone. I want to thank you, so much. It’s a great feeling to know that you’ve come here tonight to support me. I’m going to make a full recovery, so that’s good. Um, this song I’m going to sing, I wrote it a few months ago. I was practicing it when I was interrupted. I never got to hear how it sounds, and if it’s okay with you, I’d like to play it.” Louis sat straight on the piano bench and began to play. He closed his eyes, feeling the music flow from his heart to his fingers.

_“Skies are crying. I am watching, catching teardrops in my hands. Only silence as it’s ending, like we never had a chance. Do you have to make me feel like there’s nothing left of me? You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am like I’m made of glass. Like I’m made of paper. Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper. Like a skyscraper.”_

_“As the smoke clears, I awaken and untangle you from me. Would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed? All my windows still are broken, but I’m standing on my feet. You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am like I’m made of glass. Like I’m made of paper. Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper. Like a skyscraper.”_

_“Go run, run, run. I’m gonna stay right here, watch you disappear. Go run, run, run. Yeah, it’s a long way down, but I am closer to the clouds up here. You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am like I’m made of glass. Like I’m made of paper, oh, oh. Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper. Like a skyscraper. Like a skyscraper. Like a skyscraper.”_

Louis stood and bowed as the crowd went wild. Flashing a smile, Louis made his way off the stage.

“Excuse me, Mr. Tomlinson.” Louis looked up at a man standing before him.

“Yes?”

“My name is Aiden Grimshaw. I heard about the benefit and I have a friend who is friends with Liam and he asked if I would attend. Also, I’m a representative for A Team Records. I’d like to speak with you about possibly having you and your friends coming in for a demo. I’ve heard all of you and you have exceptional voices, and I can only imagine how extraordinary they would sound together.”

“You want… You want us to record a song? Like, in a studio?”

“Yes. I’d hate for you to pass up this opportunity.” 

“No, of course, not. Um, we’d love to. Thank you, Mr. Grimshaw.” Aiden passed off his card and just like that, he was gone. Louis stared after him, feeling hope spreading through him. This might just be his big break. For all of them.


	7. Epilogue: "And I will try to fix you..."

It had been five years, three months, and seventeen days since Louis left the hospital. Alex was sentenced to ten years in a federal prison. The thought of those ten years zooming by and Alex being released scared Louis, but he no longer had to worry about that. He was far away from Alex, and with his connections, nobody would ever hurt him again. Not even Alex.

About a month after the shooting and Aiden’s proposal, Louis was writing a song in the University music hall when something very strange happened. A well-known music producer, that just so happened to work for A Team Records, overheard him singing and offered him a record deal. He took it. He had only two conditions for the record deal.

“Hey, babe. Are you ready?” Louis looked in his dressing room mirror, seeing his wonderful boyfriend.

“Yeah. Are the boys ready?” Harry leaned against the wall, smiling.

“They’ve been ready. We’ve been waiting on you.” Louis chuckled and stood, smoothing out his red skinny jeans.

“How do I look?” Harry walked over and held Louis close, his hands resting on his hips.

“Very Louis-esque. How about me?” Louis straightened Harry’s blazer out, pushing some curls out of his glowing face.

“Very Harry.”

“Nice one, Boo.” Louis wrapped his arms around his neck, smiling.

“You know what I meant.” Harry leaned down, pressing a small kiss to Louis’ lips before Liam came barging in the room.

“You know… Just because you’re in a relationship in the public eye, doesn’t mean you have the right to snog everywhere you go.”

“Now, Liam. Harry and I are the hottest members of One Direction. We have the right to do whatever the fuck we want.”

Louis and Harry continued their snogging until they were being pushed toward the stage, literally. They heard the familiar beat to one of their singles, followed by the screaming of teenage girls. Louis looked at his four best friends and felt complete. He felt whole again. 

Harry took Louis’ hand in his, and as Louis gazed up at his lover he realized that Harry really did save him. Who knew that it would take a green-eyed, curly-haired young man to break Louis free of his chains and let him fly high into the sky of success?

“Please welcome to the stage… One Direction!” Louis, Harry, Liam, Niall, and Zayn ran on stage and immediately started singing their hearts out. Every so often, Louis would catch Harry’s eyes and would be reassured that as long as Harry was by his side, Louis was invincible.

They sang their first single, ‘What Makes You Beautiful,’ from their debut album _Up All Night_ , and before the show, they found out they were the first British boyband to ever have their debut album to be number one in the United States. The crowd was absolutely ecstatic, and Louis couldn’t be happier.

Their second single, ‘One Thing,’ was written for the fans. Louis loved seeing their reactions when he sang. Although he didn’t get as many as solos as the other boys, it didn’t matter to Louis. He was traveling the world with his boyfriend and his best friends, and he got to sing while doing it.

Their gig tonight wasn’t that big, just four songs. But, it was more than enough for the fans. They were happy with what they got. While the band set up for the next song, Louis walked over to the side of the stage and picked his water bottle up. When he stood back up, Harry wrapped an arm around his waist and whispered in his ear.

“I’m gonna fuck you into the mattress tonight, babe. You’re so hot, up here. All sweaty and… Sexy. I love it. I can’t wait until the show’s over.”

“Babe… Stop it. We’ll talk later.” Harry gave his signature smirk and walked back over to his microphone stand, making it higher. Louis loved when something simple as hearing him sing turned Harry on. Louis felt wanted, and the dirty talk was just that: dirty talk. Harry always used vulgar language, but when it came down to it, he was the gentlest creature God ever created.

The concert went by in a flash and the next thing Louis knew, his and Harry’s hotel suite door was being kicked shut and Louis was being pinned against the wall. Harry leaned in and started sucking on Louis’ neck, hitting that special weak spot. 

“Oh, God… Haz…” Louis had his legs around Harry’s waist, and one arm around his shoulders. He dug his nails into Harry’s shoulder lightly, gripping his curls with his other hand. No more than seconds after Louis moaned out Harry’s name, his curly-haired lover began grinding his hips into Louis. Their erections were slowly building, and Louis didn’t know how long he’d be able to last.

Minutes passed and articles of clothing were in a line starting from the door and ending at the bed. Harry lubed himself up and wrapped one of Louis’ legs around his waist, positioning the other one over his shoulder. They figured out long ago that this position was where Louis felt the most pleasured, and Harry wanted nothing more than to please his lover. 

Harry positioned himself. He guided himself in slowly, then pushed all the way in with one quick, hard thrust. Louis’ head fell back onto the pillows, letting out a particular loud moan. Harry laced his fingers with Louis’, and held their hands above his head as he began moving. Harry shifted a little, and when he thrust back in, he hit that glorious bundle of nerves that always sent Louis overboard.

“Shit! God, faster!”

“I’m better than God, baby.” Harry smirked down at his boyfriend, continuing his thrusts. Louis’ toes started curling, and he knew that if Harry didn’t slow down, he’d release.

“H-Harry, I’m close… Oh, so close…” Harry slowed his pace, but still kept his thrusts hard. Through the night, Harry would go faster and as soon as Louis would say he was close, he’d slow down again. Harry knew Louis liked it like that, no matter the moans of protest.

Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into hours. Neither one of them had hit their climax yet. Both were dripping sweat, moaning each other’s names. Louis was gripping himself, pumping away at his too-hard cock. Harry had his arms underneath him, gripping Louis’ shoulders. He had his head bent down, eyes shut tight. His sweaty curls were in his face as he gained more speed, hitting Louis’ spot over and over again. He felt his stomach tighten up, and he knew his orgasm was coming.

“Oh, f-fuck… B-Baby…” Harry and Louis stopped using condoms a couple of years ago, but Harry still pulled out when he was ready to release. He didn’t think Louis was ready to have anyone release inside of him. He knew Louis would have to let his past completely go, before he let Harry do it.

Louis wrapped one of his arms around Harry’s shoulders, digging his nails in. He quickened his wrist, moaning against Harry’s lips.

“Together…” Harry knew what Louis meant, and he couldn’t believe they were finally ready. Harry kissed him more passionately than he probably ever had in the five years they have been together. With a few more flicks of the wrist and hard thrusts, they both were climaxing: Louis between their chests, and Harry inside of Louis.

Harry collapsed on top of Louis’ chest, panting. Louis held him close, placing soft kisses on his sweaty head. Harry knew he was probably crushing Louis, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was that moment, between them.

“Thank you for fixing me, Harry.” Harry looked up at his lover, and smiled. He reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it slowly.

“I’ll always be here to fix you, Louis.”


End file.
